May 20, 2006

• "love makes one selfish for two."

  
  

  sure, we all try so desperately to forget... but imagine if you were trying so desperately to remember?

  
  

  i remember intricate details as though preserving the whole scene of the memory will allow me to return to it... it's pretty silly really... i remember the precise colors, the smells, the emotions... but the reality is, there's no such thing as going back.  there's only today and tomorrow... and the days ahead of that. 

  
  

  but still, the way my window pane felt in my house at 272 cornwell ave, williston park, ny 11596.  i used to chant the address in my head to comfort myself of a return home... but it was just a fantasy... the reality is that address no longer belongs to me.  that house is no longer my home.  and the realization of that breaks my heart.

  
  

  the moment i found out i was moving, i tried to leave behind a piece of me wherever i could, if the house is still the way it was when i left it... you will find marks and etches on the brick walls, the window pane, in the corners of my room... that's just the way i am...

  
  

  it's really tough to become an intimate part of my life... but once you have really broken into my heart, i have trouble letting go.  this goes for love in all aspects, not just romantic love. 

  
  

  i loved that house... more than anyone really knows.

  • 8:50 pm
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