happy 21st birthday my love`

i hope it was every bit as memorable as could be!everything from the butterballs to the nahmu, the party bus full of testosterone pumped drunken white boys, double teaming tree, the gelato quick fix that didn't turn out to be such a quick fix, the random bumping into of the oppa's, party boying, restaurant hopping, vodka rocks, d.c.suckas, the after party, the after party after party, failed attempts of getting you the main course and only the hors d'voures the hotel lobby, all the way to spending 12 whole hours in the lovely city of philadelphia.  never a dull moment. 

sakura sisters foreverrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!

you light up my life. tee hee tee hee.

can't wait til next saturdayyyyyy`

bright and early in the morninggggg i are heading in for a change.  AHHH how good it feels!  ^^V

****

sometimes i just want to grab you and shake you and ask you what the hell you are thinking.  why you do the things you do... what is going on in your brain...

but most of the times i just remind myself to mind my own business and go about my day. 

the only thing that ever remains a constant is that i only wish that good things happen to you.

love hurts and you can't just turn it off or ignore it.  you can't pick and choose who you love and when people say that you'll get over it when you find someone better... that's not true either.  you've given away a piece of yourself and you can never undo that nor will you ever want to. 

i'm on the brink of shattering.  thank God for beautiful friends who are amazing at piecing me back together. 

if i could always be one thing, it would be appreciative.

"what did you forget now?  doesn't matter, we all forget things.  love is about forgetting time yet remembering it can end at any time."

i can be pretty goshdarn spiteful and i'd like to change that.

domo arigato.

"love makes one selfish for two."

sure, we all try so desperately to forget... but imagine if you were trying so desperately to remember?

i remember intricate details as though preserving the whole scene of the memory will allow me to return to it... it's pretty silly really... i remember the precise colors, the smells, the emotions... but the reality is, there's no such thing as going back.  there's only today and tomorrow... and the days ahead of that. 

but still, the way my window pane felt in my house at 272 cornwell ave, williston park, ny 11596.  i used to chant the address in my head to comfort myself of a return home... but it was just a fantasy... the reality is that address no longer belongs to me.  that house is no longer my home.  and the realization of that breaks my heart.

the moment i found out i was moving, i tried to leave behind a piece of me wherever i could, if the house is still the way it was when i left it... you will find marks and etches on the brick walls, the window pane, in the corners of my room... that's just the way i am...

it's really tough to become an intimate part of my life... but once you have really broken into my heart, i have trouble letting go.  this goes for love in all aspects, not just romantic love. 

i loved that house... more than anyone really knows.

"as though your whole life was a prelude for this very moment..."

i'm waiting for that moment.  i am desperately seeking that moment... to what great lengths must i venture to find that moment?!!!!!

and yet i am at peace with the chaos that is my life at this moment....

i guess it's because deep down i know there is SO much more to life than to dwell on that anticipation and because deep down... i know it'll arrive just in time...

who am i kidding... i'm 23 years old... there is way too much to live and experience to worry about being great. 

i'm a complicated person... and yet i'm complicatingly simple... or simply complicating... it's not that hard to understand me.. but it's quite easy to think you do.  never assume... never jump to conclusions and never... i mean NEVER let your vision be blurred.  it's funny because in most situations... the third party can see right through me.  but that's the funny thing about that... because the third party is never involved hence... it doesn't matter.

have you ever watched a movie and really have it hit you where it hurts?  low blow my friends... LOW BLOW !!  *pout*

[and NO tree... i am not talking about FAMILY STONE!]

i have a lot of kinks that need to be worked out. 

some things are just undeniable, unforgettable, inevitable, irreplaceable...

timing. 

they are still and always will be my favorite.

"if it's worth your while say somthing good to me."

boy:  aw come on baby, i don't discriminate...

girl g: aw, but.... I DO!!!

boy:  ay shawwwtayyy`  mamiiiii... [blah blah blah enter unnecessary 'get you no wheres' comments here]

girl d: SHUT UPPPPPP [RAWRRRRR]!!!!

****

boy:  you wanna dance?

girl g:  no.

boy:  don't be scared... i don't bite.

girl g:  sorry, i quit.

***

in conclusion... i'm a selfish person.  solly... not.  ^^V

oh and if you are a self proclaimed "down to earth"/"people's [enter profession here]"  most likely... you're not.  atleast not as much as you'd like to be or think yourself to be...

i'm taking an aim/myspace/xanga break because lately i've been feeling bored... like this... [the pic in the frame is cute eh? LOL]

bored bored bored.  SIGH*

i'll be back when i feel like this:: [can't you hear the splash?! and feel the ocean breeze?]

free and naked.  [not literally... o btw googling images gives you lots of interesting results... i.e. see below.]

and smile like this... [an undeniably... unconcealable smile]

oh, and when my teeth are white and normal again. [aren't we sooo purrrty?  ugly teef and all?!] 

this is when i will be back.

til then, you can call me on the tellyphone i mean cellyphone. wotevah.

having a bad day is an understatement.  actually... it's the WRONG statement. 

girl:  five minutes with you and i feel like my life is a figment of my imagination.
boy:  i know
girl:  no, you don't know... you don't know... you've just always been thing f*cking thing that swallows me.

bang.

yeah, you might be gangsta but gangsta ain't enough.

deeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyummmmm.

this is why you can't be made into a supermodel... you're simply born to be one.  it has nothing to do with fate or chance.  if you are extraordinary.. you'll never succeed blending in with the ordinary.  sorry no can do.

this one's for mr.heo. 

time for self discipline and perseverance, perspiration, and err... perfection? 

maintenance is the point.

j'hurdddddddd?~!!